So you want to grow your youth group. You feel called to work with teens and you know you’re going to be the best youth leader ever. Maybe you feel called but are afraid because you haven’t a clue what you’re doing. Either way, you need to start somewhere…
What are teens looking for today?
Teens today need a purpose. They need something they can believe in. They want something they can count on.
Do we have something real to offer them that fits what they are looking for?
Yes! Jesus gave us a purpose, the tell others about God and His love. Jesus is something they can believe in and not just because the Bible teaches it but because God is all around us. They can count on Jesus. He will never let us down or forsake us. People will disappoint us and betray us (even if they don’t mean to).
How do we share Jesus when we know we will fail our teens?
Be real with them. Be honest with them. Build a relationship built on trust and respect with them. Listen to them without judgment. Be a mentor.
How can I build a relationship with a teen.
First, you should always try to introduce yourself to their parents. This can be as simple as making sure they are there the first time you pick up their teen and you saying “Hi. My name is…and I’m the youth leader at…Thank you for letting me take…to…” This lets the parents know who you are, where your from, where you are taking their teen and that you appreciate them allowing you to spend time with their child. If the parents don’t want to meet you and have no interest in what their teen is doing or who with, then that teen needs you even more.
Now that you’ve put the parent at ease, it’s time to focus on the teen and building a relationship with that teen. Go to music store or meet them at their favorite music store. Let them show you what type of music they like. Show them what time you like. Maybe you both like some of the same music. Listen to the teen as they tell you why they like a certain song or group. You be surprised to learn something personal about them. Don’t force them to talk but listen if they do talk.
If the teen is comfortable with you visiting their school, have lunch with them once a week or so if your schedule allows it. Get to know their friends by listening more than talking. If they play a sport, go to their games. If they play an instrument, go to their concerts. If they are into art, take time to look at their work.
Invite your teen and one of their friends to go for a soda after school. Stop by McDonald’s and get them a snack and drink from the dollar menu. Nuggets and a Mt Dew can go a long way in helping the teens feel comfortable.
* TIPS and WARNINGS *
1. Find out what they like to do. Try to join them if your welcome and it doesn’t go against your beliefs (although, Jesus went where people neede Him not where they knew Him).
2. Get to know their friends (even if they go to another church). Remember, it isn’t about stealing away other Christians, it’s about building relationships with your teens.
3. Try to have all of your gatherings in public places. If you are have a get together at your house, have another adult not from your house present if possible. You want the teens and their parents to feel comfortable with you. Public places are safest and will help everyone be relaxed and ready to have fun getting to know each other.
4. If a teen’s parent is not supportive of you doing things with their teen, then try to get to know the teen when they are at church or in group settings unless the parent is completely against you spending time with their teen.
5. The most important tip is pray. Pray with them when you get together. Pray for them when you are away from them. Pray for their families. Pray for their schools. Pray for specific problems they may be dealing with.
6. Be honest. Never intentionally lie to your teens. They are smart and they will know if you are lying. They deal with teen drama all day so they’ve seen lying and manipulation, don’t become one more person they can’t trust.
Tags: Christian Fellowship, Friendship, Mentoring, Youth Groups
